HEAR YE! HEAR YE!

2008-04-18T17:10:25Z

I am a pretty pretty princess.

(Who doesn't know how to logout on a mac.)

If you think this is about you, it probably is.

2008-01-19T04:59:01Z

Why can't I help you?

Huh. Fuck. -728. Also, I'm sorry about your x-box Kat. I'll fix it.

2006-12-03T21:53:06Z

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Thursday I ruled Duluth, Minnesota as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). In February I gave change to a homeless guy (19 points). In May I broke afterannabel's X-Box (-12 points). In March I pulled over and changed uptowngirl03's flat tire (15 points). Last Wednesday bosium and I robbed a bank (-50 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-728 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal!

Sincerely,
Humbert_McFate

Meme

2006-07-16T06:05:55Z

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now.	✓ I don't watch much TV these days.	✓ I own lots of books.
× I wear glasses or contact lenses.	× I love to play video games.	× I've tried marijuana.
✓ I've watched porn movies.	✓ I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes. (Well, a lot of times.)	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.	✓ I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

* * * * *

✓ I have broken someone's bones. (Does sex count?)	✓ I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.	× I hate the rain.
✓ I'm paranoid at times.	× I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.	✓ I need/want money right now.
✓ I love sushi.	× I talk really, really fast.	× I have fresh breath in the morning.
× I have long hair.	× I have lost money in Las Vegas.	✓ I have at least one sibling.
× I was born in a country outside of the U.S.	× I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.	× I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
× I like the way that I look.	✓ I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.	✓ I am usually pessimistic.
× I have a lot of mood swings.	× I think prostitution should be legalized.	× I slept with a roommate.
× I have a hidden talent.	× I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.	✓ I have a lot of friends.
✓ I have pecked someone of the same sex.	✓ I enjoy talking on the phone.	× I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
✓ I love to shop and/or window shop.	× I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.	✓ I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
✓ I have a mobile phone.	× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.	✓ I've rejected someone before.
✓ I currently like/love someone.	× I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.	× I want to have children in the future.
× I have changed a diaper before.	✓ I've called the cops on a friend before.	× I'm not allergic to anything.
✓ I have a lot to learn.	× I am shy around the opposite sex.	✓ I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
✓ I have at least 5 away messages saved.	✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before.	✓ I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
× I own the "South Park" movie.	× I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.	× I enjoy some country music.
× I would die for my best friends.	✓ I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.	✓ I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
× I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.	✓ I have dated a close friend's ex.	× I am happy at this moment.
× I'm obsessed with guys.	× Democrat.	× Republican.
× I don't even know what I am.	× I am punk rockish.	× I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
× I study for tests most of the time.	× I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.	✓ I can work on a car.
× I love my job(s).	✓ I am comfortable with who I am right now.	× I have more than just my ears pierced.
× I walk barefoot wherever I can.	× I have jumped off a bridge.	× I love sea turtles.
× I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.	✓ I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.	× I am proficient on a musical instrument.
× I hate office jobs.	× I went to college out of state.	× I am adopted.
× I am a pyro.	✓ I have thrown up from crying too much.	✓ I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
✓ I fall for the worst people. (With a few notable exceptions.)	× I adore bright colours.	× I usually like covers better than originals.
× I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.	× I can pick up things with my toes.	× I can't whistle.
× I have ridden/owned a horse.	× I still have every journal I've ever written in.	× I talk in my sleep.
× I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.	× I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.	× I wear a toe ring.
× I have a tattoo.	✓ I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with. (I can list the number of people I CAN stand on one hand.)	✓ I am a caffeine junkie.
× I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.	✓ If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder. (More than one.)	× I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
× I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.	✓ I'm an artist. (To a point, of course.)	× I am ambidextrous.
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.	× If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony.	✓ I have terrible teeth.
✓ I hate my toes.	✓ I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me.	× I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
× I have lived in either three different states or countries.	× I am extremely flexible.	× I love hugs more than kisses.
× I want to own my own business.	× I smoke.	× I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.
✓ Nobody has ever said I'm normal.	✓ Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.	✓ I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons.
✓ I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.	× I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.	× I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.
✓ I have played strip poker with someone else before.	× I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.	× I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
× I can't stand being alone.	✓ I have at least one obsession at any given time.	× I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.
× I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.	× I'm a judgmental asshole.	× I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
× I have travelled on more than one continent.	× I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.	× I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
× I am a Libertarian.	✓ I can speak more than one language. (Je parle un petit peu de la francaise.)	✓ I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be.
✓ I would rather read than watch TV.	✓ I like reading fact more than fiction.	✓ I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.
✓ I have no piercings.	× I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.	× I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.	✓ There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it.	× I like most animals better than most people.
× I own a collection of retro games consoles.	× The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.	× I have hit someone with a dead fish.
× I am compulsively honest.	× I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired.	× I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.
✓ I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.	× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.	✓ I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.	× I dislike milk.	× I obsessively wash my hands.
× I always carry something significant around with me.	× Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.	× I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.
× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.	× I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.	✓ I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird. (See above, with the knife.)
× I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.	× Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.	× I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
× I do not 'get' most comedy acts.	✓ I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing.	× I don't like to chew gum.
× I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.	× I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.	✓ I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years. (Unfortunately, it was from 11-14, so I was only a teen for 2 years.)
✓ I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.	× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.	✓ I love to sing.
× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up.	✓ I have a custom-built computer.	× I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it.
× I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.	✓ I've gone skinny-dipping.	× I've performed in three plays.
× I enjoy burritos.	× I'm Irish and loving it.	× I have a thing for redheads.
× I am a twin!	✓ Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.	× Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.
✓ I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes. (...But I know there's not.)	× I sleep more than 12 hours a day.	× I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.
× I need more time to myself.	× I wish I was more open-minded.	× I hope that I go really prematurely grey.
✓ I download songs from the internet.	× I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.	✓ I say random things to freak people out.
× I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note.	✓ I love playing Truth or Dare.	× I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it.
× Music helps me remember that I am not alone.	× Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems.	× I think this survey is particularly long.
× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones.	× I can only hate someone that I love.	✓ I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks. (I've also ordered 5 extra shots to a mocha.)

Interesting.

2006-06-16T04:28:51Z

I just found a pair of women's underwear in my bedroom. This would not be unusual, but I haven't had a woman wear underwear in my bedroom for almost three months.

A morning...

2006-06-11T14:35:01Z

I wake up in an unfamiliar room, I'm not sure if it's the one I fell asleep in. Walk to the bathroom... this is the most horrid room I've ever seen in my life. There's a white sink immediately to my left, past that is a toilet, and again, further is a bath/shower. The whole bathroom looks as if it were once a pearly white and is now a sickly pale yellow color. I investigate the medicine cabinet to find a series of unlabeled pills, a dead fly, some antiseptic (probably expired), and what would appear to be some sort of communal toothbrush. As I close the medicine cabinet, I hear a small commotion outside of the bathroom... I think I'll go somewhere and use a public bathroom, It'll probably be cleaner. I leave the bathroom, which was left unused by me, and proceed across the hallway to the room I was staying in. I change back into my clothes and move downstairs. There's a young boy playing video games in the living room... I walk past it. The kitchen looks no cleaner than the bathroom, and while this is a concern, I drink the coffee despite my inhibitions. Now, to get back home. I leave the house, cellphone in hand, iPod in pocket, and call my home... no answer. I call a series of cell phones, no answer. It seems as if the only people in the world alive at 9 o'clock in the morning are me and the video game child. No matter. I walk not up nor down the street, but left. I see a dirt path, and meander off the road (dodging cars as if I myself were frogger) and make tangent for the path. As this path of seemingly no return neigh unto careens off of the initial path and down into.... nowhere land, I look for an alternate. My options become the road I was just on, trees, a fence, and a large drop that may or may not go somewhere else. I opt for the drop. I maintain my trek through all of the available sand and rocks and back up another slope. I find myself somewhere on the side of a road in a nearby town. I know my way back from here...

humbert_mcfate

HEAR YE! HEAR YE!

If you think this is about you, it probably is.

Huh. Fuck. -728. Also, I'm sorry about your x-box Kat. I'll fix it.

Meme

Interesting.

A morning...